Not a Control Freak

Dear Fairy Godmother,

I’ve often been accused of being a ‘control freak’, especially at work. I beg to differ. I simply like things to be just so. It’s not my fault that other people can’t see my vision, but it often leads me to micromanage or simply take over the project myself. But I barely have time to do my own work, let alone direct them in theirs.

There’s nothing wrong with high standards. I’m only trying to make sure things are just right. But how can I make others understand that?

Sincerely,

Just Right

Photo by Alvaro Reyes on Unsplash

Dear Just Right,

I believe you’re experiencing what we in the Fairy Godmother circles call the Goldilocks Paradox: you want everything to be a specific way, yet you cannot make them so, due to time constraints or lack of opportunity. This is not an uncommon affliction.

I do encourage you to restrain those urges as best you can, lest you find yourself in a situation like Goldilocks, who was, unfortunately, charged with breaking and entering and destruction of property. Her example is, of course, an extreme, but it’s an important reminder to have clear lines in your life of what is under your control and what is not. As hard as it can be to remember, you are not responsible for the actions of other people.

In terms of your vision, here are some things to think about. Do you take suggestions from others? Do you tell people the specifics of your vision, or just generalities? Do you discuss the vision, or simple tell people what it should be? Do you make yourself approachable for people who might have questions? Do you offer feedback only when asked, or whenever you have something to say? Do you ask for feedback from others? Honestly answering these questions can help you communicate in a more efficient fashion and make more friends in the process.

And remember, just because others might have a different vision than yours, doesn’t make theirs wrong.

Best of luck in your endeavors. And never stop dreaming!

Your Fairy Godmother

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